Experiences of transition
The path of transition, or life in general, for a trans person is not straightforward. It can differ significantly between two trans people as well.
There can sometimes be more questions than answers, more haters than support and, if you don’t take the initiative it can be devastatingly lonely.
You NEED to know that there is good news though.
You are definitely not alone, and there is more support and acceptance today than ever before. There is so much information available at the push of a button for you to learn about yourself. Plus, you can reach out across the beautiful world of the internet and make new friends and join support groups to help you through this journey you are about to embark on.
So, today I would like to share two amazing stories of trial and triumph where you get to see the challenges of two individuals who identify as trans and who have possibly gone through what you are going through right now.
The two individuals are Alana and Cody Harman. These are their transgender transformation stories.
Introducing Alana (Born as Ryan)
Alana was born as Ryan.
Before her transition, she began questioning herself to the core and did not understand specific thoughts and feelings she had in her mind. So, she did what she thought she had to do to survive.
She felt that she had two choices – do everything she could to be a man or die.
So she became as manly as she possibly could.
While a man, she joined special forces, lifted weights, grew a beard, and did everything else she could to be a man.
By doing this however, she paid a considerable price.
She never smiled in pictures and cried herself to sleep because she knew she wasn’t living her true authentic life. Instead, she felt like she was playing a part, forced into a role to please society.
Her previous gender felt like an empty suit of armour
When she finally got the courage to come out, her dad refused to and would not accept her as their daughter, only as their son. But even as a son, her parents considered her a failure.
Things got bad to worse.
It did not help that her first attempt to transition was horrible. After taking hormones for a while, she decided to stop and go back to weightlifting and try being a man again. As a result of the hormones, she grew breast tissue in her male body.
Seeing breasts on a man’s body did not feel natural, so she took it upon herself to manually remove the breast tissue at home with a scalpel. This was a devastating sign of the self- destructive state of her mind from living a life that was not hers.
Thankfully, with the support from close friends, Alana felt confident enough to have surgery. She has had breast augmentation, sex reassignment surgery, and facial feminization surgery. Everyone around her could see the difference in confidence and comfort after having the peace of mind that she decided to be true to herself.
For her career, she chose to do metalwork. She describes it as having to take a boring piece of metal and using a catalyst (fire) to turn it into something beautiful and delicate yet strong at the same time. She feels like that is an appropriate metaphor for her life, and her work brings her great joy and satisfaction.
Now let’s talk about Cody Harman
Cody Harman has had gender reassignment surgery and hormone therapy to help with his
transition. He was born a female and later transitioned into a man.
Cody is only 30 years old but he has been married as a woman, divorced as a woman and now transitioned into a man.
He has felt like a boy since he was a child. His parents thought that because the mom was a ‘tom-boy’ when she was younger. Their daughter was also displaying similar characteristics. But even as a girl, Cody hated dresses and looking at the mirror did not feel right because it didn’t align with how he felt inside.
When he was a woman, he met his ex-husband and married a year later. Looking back, he knew that although he was smiling in a wedding dress. His wedding wasn’t a celebration of joy. Instead, it reminded him of giving up his truth to please other people because he was afraid of what society would say.
They finally divorced and Cody came out as gay and told his parents that he wanted to transition into a man. Coming out as gay wasn’t a surprise to his parents but wanting to transition was. His parents decided to love and support him instead of being like most other parents around the world.
Cody is a career chef, trans bodybuilder and a personal trainer
And Cody had some reassuring and empowering words to share with anyone going through what he went through; “If I regret anything. I put my real life on hold because I was afraid of what people would say and if they would accept me. But self-acceptance is way more important and so is your happiness. When people see that you are genuinely happy, they will follow.”
So, if you’re coming out isn’t initially received with support, people might just need to see your truth and your joy to be able to finally accept it.
Whatever people say it really doesn’t matter. Don’t let fear run your life.
Coming out as a trans person is a challenge unlike any other. Although it has become much easier for someone to come out as gay, it is still much more challenging for someone to come out as trans.
However, with the power of the internet and people being able to share their stories to a worldwide audience. Things are slowly becoming better for the trans community.
If you are looking for courage and guidance. It’s always good to look at the struggles faced by others and figuring out how you want to go about living your life. Coming out as trans take courage so it is essential to try and have a group of supportive friends who understand what you are going through and are willing to hold your hand through the good and bad times.
Like Alana mentioned above, you are beautiful and delicate yet incredibly strong. Take Cody’s advice and don’t live in regret by giving into your fear of not being accepted. It might be difficult at first, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel where you get to be who you are really meant to be.
Good luck and if you need more tips and advice, feel free to check out our other helpful articles.
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