Crossdresser, transgender and gender-fluid
You need to reveal your truth to your partner. You owe it to yourself and to them. Here are stories of 3 couples that will inspire you.
The best time to come out to your partner is during the phase of dating. The next best time is now.
Todays stories are of Katie and her gender-fluid husband who transitions between his male persona Vince and his femme side Natasha. Next, you’ll read about Priscilla and her transgender wife Gabbi, a WWE wrestler for 7 years as a man named Tyler Reks. Finally, you’ll read the story of Paola who is a crossdresser but remains happily married with his wife.
Let’s dive right in.
Coming out as gender fluid to his high school sweetheart
Since high school, Katie and Vince have been together for over 11 years and been married for the last 5.
They were two kids with similar interests in ‘nerdy’ fan faction stories like Lord of the Rings and Star Wars.
9 years into their relationship, Vince finally came out to Katie as gender fluid. It was something he had battled with for a long time. So he knew he had to mention it to his wife.
Katie’s immediate reaction was shock. She didn’t know how to take it, and she could not relate to it.
To help her understand Vince’s feelings, they had to have several open and honest conversations.
Katie is quite firm that she is not lesbian and is not attracted to Vince’s feminine side when he dresses up and turns into Natasha.
She does enjoy spending time with Natasha when they go shopping together. She is very impressed with how well Natasha uses makeup to transform into a beautiful woman.
Open and honest conversations have helped Katie understand what Vince is feeling. She has realized that all that matters is that her husband still loves her and is attracted to her. Being Natasha on some days simply brings him joy, and he has her full support.
Gabbi tried being hyper-masculine to drown her feminine side, but her wife helped her discover her true self
Gabe Tuft was a 6 ft 5 inch WWE wrestler who performed with his stage name Tyler Reks. He was married to Priscilla Tuft for 23 years.
Gabe now goes by Gabbi Tuft. She has come out as a trans woman. And she was able to do that with the help of her amazing wife Priscilla, who she is still married to.
Gabbi had been feeling this since she was 4 years old but learnt the consequences of coming out as she grew up. So she hid that side of her.
So, without even realising it, she did everything she could to distance herself from her inner femininity. She became a gym rat, took steroids and performed as a WWE wrestler for 7 successful years.
One day, partly as a joke and partly as an experiment, she simply tried on some of her wife’s clothes in her presence. This became more and more frequent until one day. Due to the feeling of guilt ingrained into her head as a man, Gabbi put a stop to dressing up in women’s clothing.
Instead, she loaded up on steroids and spent three consecutive weeks in the gym to try and escape her femininity again.
Lucky for Gabbi, Priscilla noticed how mentally drained she was and decided to have some open dialogue to try providing support.
It took some time but, with her wife’s help, Gabbi is now living happily as a transgender woman.
Girlfriend found his dresses and heels when they moved into a studio apartment together
Paola Estrella is a Youtuber that shares his crossdressing life on his channel.
He is happily married with his wife and shares his story about how she found out about his crossdressing life.
Long story short, they were together for about five years when they decided to move in together. The apartment they moved into was tiny, but they managed.
The disadvantage of living in such a tiny place was there weren’t many options when it came to hiding things.
One day when he came back from work, his wife was on the bed with his dresses and high heels and began to question him. She wanted to know if there was another woman in his life that he was cheating on her with.
He obviously said no. But he admitted he did have a secret to confess. He revealed how much he likes to work with makeup and women’s fashion and that he simply enjoyed crossdressing. But it didn’t change who he was, and he was definitely not cheating on her.
In her initial shock, she went quiet and didn’t have much to say to him for about a week as she was trying to process all this new information. After a week, Paola went up to his wife and asked if she had any questions. Her three main questions were ‘Are you gay?’, ‘Are you into other crossdressers?’ and ‘Have you cheated on me?’.
These are all valid questions. Paola explained that he was still in love with his wife and attracted to her and crossdressing was not going to change that. It was more for his joy to explore the opposite gender. And it would not affect his feelings for his wife.
Now, they are married and is a great place in their relationship
They can dress up together and go out together either as man and woman or have a day out as two women.
The key to their success is that his secret was revealed during their dating phase where his girlfriend had the option to contemplate how to react and go forward.
Whereas when you keep it a secret until you are married, the woman feels like she was lied to and now has no option. But to accept and live with this new information. This finality can be very damaging, and their response to this feeling of betray can be to simply leave the marriage.
Coming out to your wife as something other than a cis male will be difficult, and there is no way around that.
You could have a supportive wife like Gabbi did. But admitting the truth to yourself and revealing such an intimate and vulnerable secret will be challenging. If you were raised as a man who society discourages from showing vulnerability.
However, it’s essential to realise that the sooner you reveal your secret, the sooner you get to live life as your authentic self and you stop having to lie to your partner.
Lying is unfair to your partner and pretending is unjust to you, so the sooner you come out, the better it is for everyone involved.
We have several articles on tips and tricks to help with your transitions, so feel free to read them all.
Good Luck on your journey!
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